Putting Yourself First: Thriving Through Seasons of Change

Pammy Gaskin
Sep 5
3 min read

The summer holidays have their own kind of magic — long days, late nights, children full of energy and stories. But they can also leave us stretched thin. As working mums, September can feel like a season of rebalancing: re-establishing rhythms, finding routines, and trying to catch our breath while everyone else seems to surge forward.

Just last night, my twins were up late, both upset over playground dynamics and the unwritten rules of “etiquette” that can sometimes feel so heavy on young hearts. Their tears, frustration, and anxiety reminded me of something we often forget as adults: we are all deeply affected by the actions of others.

When the people around us are unsettled, it can ripple straight into our own nervous system.

And for those of us living with a health condition — or worse, the uncertainty of an undiagnosed one — that ripple effect can feel like a tidal wave. Pain, fatigue, and emotional distress are exhausting on their own. Add the demands of parenting, work, and relationships, and it becomes clear why so many of us feel like we’re running on empty.

That’s why putting yourself first isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.

Why Emotional and Nervous System Regulation Matters

Our bodies are designed to react to stress — but when stress is constant, it can keep us stuck in survival mode. That’s when overwhelm takes hold, small problems feel like crises, and resilience feels out of reach.

Learning to regulate your emotions and nervous system isn’t about avoiding difficulty. It’s about equipping yourself with the ability to ground, reset, and return to balance. Here are some simple practices that can make a real difference:

Breathe with intention — Slow, deep breaths can signal safety to your nervous system, calming both body and mind.
Move gently — A stretch at your desk, a short walk, or even rolling your shoulders can release stored tension.
Protect your energy — Boundaries are not barriers; they’re anchors. Saying “no” where you need to is an act of self-preservation.
Prioritise real rest — Not just sleep, but moments where your mind and body can fully switch off.

These practices don’t erase the hard days, but they create space — and in that space, resilience grows.

Choosing Yourself Without Guilt

As Mums, we’re often told (directly or indirectly) that our role is to give endlessly. But when we give without replenishing ourselves, we end up pouring from an empty cup. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean your family comes second — it means you’re resourced enough to show up for them fully.

By tending to your health — whether that’s seeking answers for an undiagnosed condition, listening to your body when it’s in pain, or taking 10 minutes to ground your nervous system — you are modelling something invaluable for your children: that self-care is not selfish, but vital.

A Reflection for This Season

As we step into this new chapter of the year, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

What do I need to feel anchored today?
What boundaries can I put in place to protect my energy?
Where can I choose myself without guilt?

Because when you choose yourself, you’re not just surviving — you’re building a foundation to thrive, and you’re teaching your children that their wellbeing matters too.

You deserve to be the steady centre of your own life. And when you are, everything else — work, motherhood, relationships — begins to flow with more ease.

If this season has left you feeling stretched thin, please know you’re not alone — and you don’t have to keep running on empty. By choosing yourself first, even in small ways, you strengthen your resilience and show your children the power of self-care.

To help you take that next step, I’ve created two simple, affordable tools to guide you:

🌙 The Rest Reset (£5.55) — your toolkit for grounding your nervous system and reclaiming your energy.
🌸 The Mama Reset (£5.55) — practical steps to protect your boundaries, restore balance, and thrive in motherhood.