The Hidden Weight of Healing

And Why It Doesn’t Always Feel Like Lightness

This weekend, while decluttering, I witnessed something quietly profound.

My daughter moved through the process with ease — letting go of old toys, clothes, and keepsakes as if they held no weight. To her, they were simply things. Moments that had passed. No longer needed. No longer hers.

I, on the other hand, paused over nearly every item. A baby sock, a birthday card, an old notebook — small things, but each loaded with meaning.

A memory. A feeling. A version of myself.

And it made me wonder:

When we hold on… who are we really holding on for?

Our current self?

Our past self?

The people we used to be — or the ones we’re still trying to prove something to?

Sometimes, clutter isn’t just stuff. It’s emotional residue. Unspoken grief. Unresolved guilt.

Memories wrapped around our identity, convincing us that letting go means forgetting — or worse, dishonouring something sacred.

And yet, our children — in their simplicity — show us what it means to be free. To let go without guilt. To live unlayered by stories.

To not be tangled in the past or anxious about the “what ifs.”

But here’s where it gets even more real:

Letting go — and healing — isn’t always light and freeing. At least not at first.

We often imagine healing as something serene. Clean. Calm. Meditation cushions and scented candles. But real healing? The deeper kind?

It’s messy. It’s inconvenient. It brings things up you didn’t ask to feel again.

The Darker Side of Healing

No one talks enough about the fact that healing can hurt more than what wounded you.

Because healing doesn’t just ask you to move on. It asks you to go back. To feel what you couldn’t at the time. To sit in the discomfort. To touch the parts of yourself that have long been buried under "I'm fine" and "It doesn’t bother me anymore."

Sometimes, the healing process looks like:

• Feeling angrier than you expected.

• Grieving things you thought you were over.

• Being confused about who you are without your pain.

• Questioning everything you once held tightly.

It’s not weakness. It’s the work.

And often, it's in this chaos — this unraveling — that the real transformation begins.

Not a Breakdown — A Breakthrough

When your healing feels heavy...When your emotions feel too loud...When everything feels like it's falling apart...

It’s not a sign you’re broken. It’s a sign you’re processing. You’re finally giving space to what needed to be felt.

And yes — that can be terrifying. But it’s also how we come home to ourselves.

Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before the weight.

Before the guilt. Before the people-pleasing. Before the coping mechanisms you needed just to survive.

What Are You Ready to Put Down?

This isn’t a call to rush your process. It’s not about discarding everything or forcing closure.

It’s an invitation. To pause. To notice what you’re still carrying — and why. To ask yourself:

What weight is no longer mine to hold? And who am I still carrying it for?

Maybe you’re not ready to let go of everything. That’s okay. Healing is layered. Cyclical. Human.

But if even one small part of you is tired — of the story, the burden, the loop —let that part of you breathe today.

Let it rest.

You don’t have to carry it all to be worthy. You don’t have to hold on to the past to honour it.

You are allowed to let go — even before you feel ready.

Because sometimes freedom doesn’t begin with joy. It begins with grief.

And sometimes the mess is the medicine.

What’s one thing you’re ready to release — even if it’s just a little?